As pessoas me divertem muito (parte I)

Aí, né, que eu tenho um perfil nesse sítio através do qual as pessoas resolvem se tornar melhores amigas/amantes/por favor traga um café da manhã pra nós dois/Roberto Carlos, eu te amo mui-tô. E recebo coisas deliciosas, figuras que eu realmente gostaria de estar conhecendo melhor para poder estar me relacionando. Por favor leia abaixo a mensagem editada do meu príncipe encantado, que reside na Cidade do Cabo. É que a inspiração do bardo é muita e ele escreve linhas e linhas em sua missiva.
From: paul
To: im@skdljskjdl.com
Date: 22 Aug 2005 14:41:54 -0000
Subject: Penpal reply (Interpals)

Hi ,

(...) I am rather hansdsome young man who like to read, to go to the exhibitions, to the cinema. Also I like to spend my free time with my friends, they always tell me that near me it can’t become boring because I am a fun, intelligent, outgoing, creative and positive person. I receive great pleasure because I like to communicate with different people. As for my family I love my mother she is the person whom I love most off all in the world. If you like my little description or you want to know more about me than wrote to me write me please net and I will answer to all your questions. (...) In my beloved woman I want to see kindness, love, understanding, sympathy to that people who need it. Also I am looking for family oriented woman.

(...) It makes me pleasure to see how people become happier with my participation… my aim is to be happy, and my happiness is in striving to make people happy… My dream is to find you, my beloved woman, my queen, my Angel, my hope, and my soul, my light… to be the means for me to become happy and also make you happy every day! As we all know,we live in a very severe world… full of bad coincidences and stupid mistakes… and also with a lot of weakness inside, weak points and bad qualities, but you can’t live in this world and not depend upon it… But I’ll save all the best I have for you… … I’m very outspoken, and if you involve me into a sincere conversation (sometimes you needn’t do anything :-) … ), I’ll always tell you all I think about you… (...) I like gentle tactful treatment… I love good humor and warm embraces… friendly and loving… I dream to find the beloved person who will change my life! I dream my beloved to be Honest, strong, athletic, romantic, and be a poet…

(...) I do come with a warning label: "Warning!! This man is quite likely to make you happy." I am not into games other than Monopoly. I know my own mind and I don't have a problem speaking it. I am seeking a woman who will think of me but not try to think for me. I am seeking a woman who is confident but not cocky. One who can laugh at himself and not feel diminished when I laugh with her. . Tell me the truth and we'll get along fine. (...)

I'm intelligent, ambitious, family oriented, open-minded, down-to-earth, sensitive, reliable, sincere, considerate, creative, spontaneous, and I enjoy listening to all kinds of music, watching movies, dining in or out, meeting people and learning about different cultures, stimulating conversations, and anything computer-related.

My ideal mate is honest, 100% available, intelligent, ambitious, sensitive, funny, family oriented, open-minded, spontaneous, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and a good communicator, and enjoys most -- if not all -- of the same things I enjoy.

• Do you snore? Do you talk in your sleep?
• What songs or artists put you in the mood?
• How important is family to you? Describe your relationship with your family.
• Describe a meal you like to prepare.
• Describe your ideal dream date. Where would you go and what would you do?
• Morning person or night owl?
• Make your bed or leave it messy?
• The movie or the book? Or the Cliffs Notes?
• Glass half-empty or half-full?
• Admit your favorite guilty pleasure.
• If you could bring back any deceased musician for one concert, who would it be?
• Tell me about the person who has most influenced your life.
• Do you ever talk to yourself out loud? What do you talk about?

i will be anticipating your urgent reply,


Assim, tipo. Resumirei pra você compreender melhor a situação.

Hi, I'm PXYZ. and I'm perfect. I'm looking for a perfect woman to be my soul mate and live happily ever after. Here's a list of questions for you:

1. Do you too think I'm perfect?
2. Are you a perfect woman?
3. Do you snore?

Please reply asap. If you're not interested I'll have to look for the perfect woman else where.
PTPM (PXYZ, the perfect man)'
Próximo capítulo, faz favor. Vá agora para a parte II.

9 comentários:

  1. Hahahaha. Guided composition essa parte com tópicos. Jesus, Maria, José! Hahahaha. As pessoas, Ione, não agüento as pessoas. Cadê o senso de ridículo? Será que nunca ouviram falar? Deve ser humorista esse Paul, não há outra explicação.

  2. ooooooooooh pleeeeeeeeeasse...pede uma foto dessa critura, pede!! E Ionem, vc ainda teve coragem de responder? essas coisas não se deve incentivar...isso é encosto!

  3. E Lys,a lista era maior. Achei bonito da parte dele me dar idéias pra responder o e-mail.

    Thata, se Paul for minimamente inteligente ele vai sacar que eu tirei uma com a cara dele e não vai responder! Portanto, não teremos fotos. Acho. Se ele responder, vou perder o respeito completamente.

  4. "Describe your ideal dream date. Where would you go and what would you do?"

    tipo, "sou perfeito, porém careço de criatividade, então me instrua para que eu não erre?"


  5. Naum, ele vai responder. Um cara minimamente inteligente não manda um e-mail desses.

  6. Ione, eu tb acho que ele vai responder. Ah, ah, ah...que estória de doudos, Ione.

  7. Nossa, esse cara sou eu, só que um pouco mais modesto.

    A diferença é que eu já achei minha "soul mate" (alma gêmea, é isso?).


  8. Ah, tem mais uma diferença. Apesar da minha falta de modéstia, eu não fico por aí espalhando. Valha-me, Deus!

  9. "we live in a very severe world… full of bad coincidences and stupid mistakes"

    É, ele disse tudo.